Letter By an Idiot and Reaction

(received from my sister on August 10th)
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is now finished. This morning, I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries, which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations: Screw with us, and we will
hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Bimmers, Hummers, Jags, and limos get confiscated and turned over to the responsible charitable and law enforcement agencies that are trying to do work that actually means something and helps this country. I love New York! A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to stop sabotaging us, for a change. Mexiconis also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep - border security. So start doing something with your oil - like selling it to us at a price that recognizes themany years and billions of dollars we've spent supporting millions of your citizens that you're too corrupt and insensitive to help. Oh - by the way - the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -", starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care. It is time for Americato focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying,"Damned right!" Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to neliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought: Thanks guys. We owe you, and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night.


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Reaction (to my sister's email)

I usually don't read this stuff but I hope you don't agree with that bullshit. That essentially describes the ignorant people that voted for Bush (not everyone who voted for Bush is ignorant). Forward this to all of your stupid friends. What do you think we would have done if China invades Tawain? We would start world war 3 (or 4 depending on your classification of the cold war). Why do you think list two was so long? Because most level headed people think that when one nation invades another nation, its wrong. I guess I could be branded a liberal commie for such a statement but the borders of the world were basically set after 1945 and if you don't like what you got, tough. We got away with invading, not one, but two countries in 3 years because we are the economic, social, and most importantly most superior military power in the world. So your going to say we are going to "Liberate Iraq" and "Fight Terrorism." A) The Iraqi government will basically be a puppet government to the USA (don't know how liberated that is, one government, to two governments) B)When that government is toppled by the people, they will become an islamic run state like every other country in the region and probably another breeding ground for the thing we are trying to stop. On another note, the American public's reaction to the war in Iraq goes to show how politically inept and inert we are. We were lied to(proven) about the motive (a fact which everyone acknowledges on the whole planet except three people (Bush, Cheney, Rice) because if they admit they blew smoke up our ass, their jolly little facade will fall apart) and the American public doesn't even care. Drilling for oil in Alaska will give us enough gas for decades? HAHAHAHA, I will use a better source than George Bush (who has lied to prove his point before). According to the US geological survey and even SHELL Oil company (yeah an OIL COMPANY), there is only enough gas "maybe" at full production to provide 2.75% of the USA's domestic oil needs for 25 years. Yeah, have fun in that SUV while 250 million Americans pay 642$ for a gallon of gas. As far as making such powerful nations like Poland and Spain our allies, yeah thats a real good fockin idea. Let's embrace two of the the third world countries in Europe and lets just say screw you to the countries we get 80% of our goods from and export 90% of our goods too. I'm sure we would do just fine. We can all get a horse and drink river water, hey it will be romantic! And after kids stop murdering each otherover black market xbox games and anything made in China (everything) we could have a wonderful country!! Whoever wrote that article proves what idiots can do to other idiots. I don't know if you sent this to me to get a reaction or what but there you go.


And when the hell did Canada "sabotage" us?????
Insert Napoleon Dynamite "IDIOTS" __________ here.