Notre Dame Fans:

You might be a Notre Dame fan if:

You are Catholic: For some reason, a lot of people think that just because you are Catholic, you have to be a Notre Dame football fan. Unfortunately, all of these people are already Catholic. How does a team filled with a sizeable majority of non-catholic players inspire you to make such a ludicrous statement? Just because the University’s “religion” is Catholicism, doesn’t automatically mean you have to root for them.

You went to some joke Jr. College for gun repair: “Hey, my college didn’t have a football team (or a national accredited certificate) so it was the logical choice for me!” No, that’s not the logical choice for you. The logical choice for you is to ask me if I want paper or plastic or ask me if I want fries with that. Just because you didn’t have a college team at your “college” still doesn’t excuse the fact that you are a dick for picking Notre Dame. If this were the universal case, then everyone with a shit basketball team would be a Duke fan…..

Your sister/brother went there: See above and shut the fuck up.

You are Regis Philbin: 99.9999999999754% of you aren’t

You really like their tradition: What does that even mean? That they can be mediocre and still make it to a BCS game? That they have a nazi esque copyright on their “image?” That Sam wise Gamgee made a movie about some 5’4” fucker who couldn’t even whipe the asses of any other college team’s players and made it in for one fucking play? I already saw that movie and liked it better when it was called Rocky, and at least he was in for 15 rounds before he got the draw.