Quite Possibly the Best Christmas Song Ever

Check this out!

http://www.americanangst.com/dingfries.html

Taking Matters Into My Own Hands

I'm sick of Notre Lame... Fucking Fox has them ranked at 4 ahead of PSU...

Here would be my ballot with reasons why, comment as you see fit.

1. Texas
(They play in a super cake conference (Big 12) but still have the best all around team by far)
2. PSU
(Despite the fact that PSU is undefeated in 60 minute games, the team is just more balanced than USC who is just one player.... Reggie Bush, in a head up match, PSU would win.)
3. USC
( Thank you future NFL hall of famer Reggie Bush. Without him, this team is nothing.)
4. Ohio State
( OSU could beat anyone not located above them in the poll, look at the teams above them, two of these did what the rest could not
5. Virginia Tech
( I hope Baby Vick just had the worst game of his life against Da U and that wasn't just what happens when the Hokies play a real team)
6. LSU
(Here purely because they are 9-1. Don't think they have an extraordinary team, just successful)
7. Auburn
(Talk about a team that has really turned it on. The tigers beat in state rival Alabama whole handedly making the team look as silly as they deserve. Should be ahead of LSU but not just yet.)
8. Oregon
(Too bad no one watches west coast games)
9. Da U
(This team farted against G/Tech, maybe they will really miss their running back lost against VT, guess what his last name is..... Moss)
10. UGA
(The dawgs losses came with an injured Shockley, expect them to wax LSU in the SEC championship)
11. UCLA
(Runner up in the "race to beat as many shit Pac 10 teams as you can")
12. Fresno State
(Clearly gave USC its best (you heard me) game of the season, plays a very tough out of conference schedule year after year to boost its shitty in conference schedule (WAC)
13. WVU
(Big East blows, they just are better than the rest)
14. Alabama
(They blow now, but at least win against some teams in the top 25)
15. Notre Lame
(Just because you play the #1 team in the nation doesn't mean your shit doesn't stink. 50-58 opponent record to some teams who are rumored to play Div 1-A football doesn't make for a great strength of schedule. They are 8-2 and deserve this spot)
16. TCU
(eh ... why not)
17. Georgia Tech
(Beating Miami in the Orange Bowl, thanks GTech! #21 whoever he is is amazing)
18. Florida
(Lose to good teams, beat shitty teams... good enough for 18)
19. T. Tech
(passing for 640 yards against Rice doesn't make you a good team, beating UT would have... too bad they couldn't show up when they needed to)
20. Michigan
(After waking from a coma earlier in the season, the Wolverines are a force to be recogned with in the post season)

Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself: So I Won't ... Read

Phony Theory, False Conflict
'Intelligent Design' Foolishly Pits Evolution Against Faith
By Charles Krauthammer
Friday, November 18, 2005; Page A23
(Washington Post)

Because every few years this country, in its infinite tolerance, insists on hearing yet another appeal of the Scopes monkey trial, I feel obliged to point out what would otherwise be superfluous: that the two greatest scientists in the history of our species were Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein, and they were both religious.

Newton's religion was traditional. He was a staunch believer in Christianity and a member of the Church of England. Einstein's was a more diffuse belief in a deity who set the rules for everything that occurs in the universe.

Neither saw science as an enemy of religion. On the contrary. "He believed he was doing God's work," James Gleick wrote in his recent biography of Newton. Einstein saw his entire vocation -- understanding the workings of the universe -- as an attempt to understand the mind of God.

Not a crude and willful God who pushes and pulls and does things according to whim. Newton was trying to supplant the view that first believed the sun's motion around the earth was the work of Apollo and his chariot, and later believed it was a complicated system of cycles and epicycles, one tacked upon the other every time some wobble in the orbit of a planet was found. Newton's God was not at all so crude. The laws of his universe were so simple, so elegant, so economical and therefore so beautiful that they could only be divine.

Which brings us to Dover, Pa., Pat Robertson, the Kansas State Board of Education, and a fight over evolution that is so anachronistic and retrograde as to be a national embarrassment.
Dover distinguished itself this Election Day by throwing out all eight members of its school board who tried to impose "intelligent design" -- today's tarted-up version of creationism -- on the biology curriculum. Pat Robertson then called the wrath of God down upon the good people of Dover for voting "God out of your city." Meanwhile, in Kansas, the school board did a reverse Dover, mandating the teaching of skepticism about evolution and forcing intelligent design into the statewide biology curriculum.

Let's be clear. Intelligent design may be interesting as theology, but as science it is a fraud. It is a self-enclosed, tautological "theory" whose only holding is that when there are gaps in some area of scientific knowledge -- in this case, evolution -- they are to be filled by God. It is a "theory" that admits that evolution and natural selection explain such things as the development of drug resistance in bacteria and other such evolutionary changes within species but also says that every once in a while God steps into this world of constant and accumulating change and says, "I think I'll make me a lemur today." A "theory" that violates the most basic requirement of anything pretending to be science -- that it be empirically disprovable. How does one empirically disprove the proposition that God was behind the lemur, or evolution -- or behind the motion of the tides or the "strong force" that holds the atom together?
In order to justify the farce that intelligent design is science, Kansas had to corrupt the very definition of science, dropping the phrase " natural explanations for what we observe in the world around us," thus unmistakably implying -- by fiat of definition, no less -- that the supernatural is an integral part of science. This is an insult both to religion and science.
The school board thinks it is indicting evolution by branding it an "unguided process" with no "discernible direction or goal." This is as ridiculous as indicting Newtonian mechanics for positing an "unguided process" by which Earth is pulled around the sun every year without discernible purpose. What is chemistry if not an "unguided process" of molecular interactions without "purpose"? Or are we to teach children that God is behind every hydrogen atom in electrolysis?

He may be, of course. But that discussion is the province of religion, not science. The relentless attempt to confuse the two by teaching warmed-over creationism as science can only bring ridicule to religion, gratuitously discrediting a great human endeavor and our deepest source of wisdom precisely about those questions -- arguably, the most important questions in life -- that lie beyond the material.

How ridiculous to make evolution the enemy of God. What could be more elegant, more simple, more brilliant, more economical, more creative, indeed more divine than a planet with millions of life forms, distinct and yet interactive, all ultimately derived from accumulated variations in a single double-stranded molecule, pliable and fecund enough to give us mollusks and mice, Newton and Einstein? Even if it did give us the Kansas State Board of Education, too.

Slow Year for Homo Sapiens

Check this out and note the thick thick irony coupled with hillarity

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/11/15/time.personyear.ap/index.html

Question of the Day?

How is Auburn at 8-2 ranked so far behind Notre Lame at 7-2

Fact 1:
Auburn beats big time teams

Fact 2:
Notre Lame loses to big time teams

Fact 3:
Auburn's losses come to top 25 teams

Fact 4:
Notre Lame lost to 5-5 Michigan State

Fact 5:
Auburn plays Alabama and possibly the SEC championship to close the season

Fact 6:
Notre Lame played Navy last weekend, Standford and 1-8 Syracuse to close the season

Charlie Weiss = Terry Bowden

Hear me out... You can not have followed college football this year without hearing the name of Charlie Weiss. This former Patriots defensive coordinator was bestowed with the hottest seat in college football, that of head coach of the media's immortal beloved, Notre Dame. He has been up for best coach of the year for coaching his team to 6-2 with loses to a 5-4 Michigan State and an overranked, overhyped USC. So, he lost two games.... there are currently 3 other coaches in the league that haven't lost a game, are they just kitty litter? Anyway, Charlie Weiss came into Notre Dame with a full head of wind at his back. Two years before his arrival, a similar situation occured in South Bend with the arrival of coach Tyrone Willingham. He took over from a struggling Bob Davie and brought in his own offense and recruited his own players. As you know, college football is very cyclical. The players that Tyrone Willingham recruited in his first year are Junior's now... a.k.a. the bread and butter of Coach Weiss' football team now. The same thing happened with Terry Bowden in the 90's coming into a Auburn program on probation. A name like Bowden in college football is like the Bush name in politics. He came into a Pat Dye team who was highly touted and highly regarded as one of the best teams in the SEC (probably due to the recruiting violations). He proceeded to take this team to an undefeated record but not to a bowl game (due to probation). Coach of the year honors were flying. But like most sophmoric efforts, coach Terry gradually fell off as he lost players to every other team in the region. Proving his name was not enough to draw people to the university. Just wait you leprechaun lovers, the same will happen to you. Charlie Weiss is going to be the golden god for the next two years, even though your team will lose three games this season (bowl game included) and lose players to other teams. After two or three 8-3 or 7-5 seasons, the next poor soul will be asked to sit on the thrown in South Bend and shit out another SI cover after going 3-0 against Army, Navy, and Temple. Your team IS overrated even though no one wants to admit it and you will meet your maker in a bowl game.

How to Make Your Own Pop Song

I am so fed up with current music, especially when people have the balls to call themselves artists. The same 5 people in the biz write probably 70% of the music. So to knock down that percentage, the pineapple man is giving you the key to millions. Use these formulas to make any song in any one of the following styles

Genre:
Rock
Style:
slow ballad

I have ___ problems
Only ___ can help me
____ save me
_____ darkness
_____ light
No one can help me
only ____ can save me

repeat 4 times

Genre:
Pop
Style:
Shitty Girl Group

I'm free from_____
No looking back
Love ____
Love____
I'm a brat
Give me a reason to stay
Don't break my heart
I'm free from _____

repeat 4 times

Genre:
Rap
Style:
Bling Bling

I got _____ in my crib
I have ____ chains
Drink ____ with ____ ho's
listen when I talk
Party_____ Club_____
Club______ DJ____ Ho's
I'm the greatest

Chorus
Club ____ Ho's ____ Drink____
Club ____ Ho's ____ Drink____
Bitches

Genre:
Punk
Style:
Shitty 18 year old garage band

My ____ grounded me today
______ pick me up at the mall
______ darkness
Only you can take away all this pain
So much pain and I'm only 18
Collect ______ pokemon with me
Put a dog collar on to look dumb like me

whiny chorus:
Yeah whooooo yeah whooooooo
Love you darcy
yeah whooooo yeah hooooooo
Don't love you nancy

Genre:
Country
Style:
???

Git __ Done
trucks _______ out on the river
Freedom and singing
______ my cousin last night
Big Country rolls_______
Git __ Done




Just remember I get 30% of whatever you make off this :)

Joe Paterno = KKK Grand Dragon

PSU head football coach Joe Paterno clearly is a cross burning racist. Recently, reporters have baited the oldest coach "alive" into a recent debate about black athletes in sports. Coach Deberry from Air Force recently stated that he needed to get more "African Americans on the team to have a chance to win." This set off a media shit storm, leading some brilliant journalist to Coach Paterno. A ridiculous media shit storm ensued. Paterno said the game has changed since African Americans began playing.... who would really argue this? Who could really argue this? Sports in America are one of the few things that PC quotas can't touch and look what has happened. The NBA is over 90% African American, NFL is over 70% African American, Baseball is over 60% African American, clearly there is a trend here. I understand the danger of stereotyping cultures but sometimes facts are facts. Trash cans are alot cleaner now that all these Mexicans are here. If Joe Paterno said something to the effect of, our graduation rates are down because of all these African Americans, that would be something to get your panties in a wad over. His statement was simply blown out of proportion by some journalist who knew he'd get that exact soundbyte out of a 78 year old man.


Black guys are good at sports
Asian guys have small wangs
White guys are average at everything

The Lion Thriller Dance

For those of you who didn't see it, the PSU Nittany Lion and two blue banders did the Thriller dance in the South Endzone at the Beav. If you didn't see it, check it out, it was a real fan favorite. (Right click and save as and then watch it)